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Monthly Archives: June 2017

THE MATH BETWEEN US

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THE MATH BETWEEN US

That the math between us was presenting problems
What crap! And you have the nerve to point it out!??
What difference does it make? I bet whatever I have is more real than what you think you do.
Why not let me fall, and regret my own mistakes?
Why not let him leave when he tires of fixing my self-esteem and failing at it?
Why not let me call it quits when I spend hours on end checking his nonexistent replies to my short texts?
Why not let us know each other’s depths like none ever has?
Why not let us kill each other when we start cheating and lying?
Why not let us bicker and argue till we wake up the neighbors?
Why not let me break glasses and walk away only to come back after my wrath subsides? Like a normal girl.
Why let it end before it begins?
Why not let us delve in the magical world of being in love?
Why not let us experiment? For we found that which was so out of reach
Why curtail our open mindedness?
Why not let us lose all our photos only to overcompensate by making even better memories?
Why not let us stand in the rain dancing and professing love? Because the least you could do is hold an umbrella over our heads.

Let us live. Let us break our legs skating and almost drown in the pool.
Let us stay broke for a month because we went to the coast over the holidays.
Let us live like there is no tomorrow.
Let us come out at night like a normal couple.
Let us be.
Normal, boring, and cliché
Let us play normal
And act like our opinions matter to each other.
Let us be a normal couple who decided not to hide their feelings behind phrases like ‘We are not the relationship type’.
Let us have one of those awkward moments at three am. Those that we sit on the bed in our ‘studio apartment’ staring at shadows or that dim light emanating from the radio at the corner, the silence between us almost tangible
Let me lean on his shoulder as we do that.
Let him walk away for genuine reasons. Why the double standards?
Let me walk away when he tires of the kisses on my forehead that he so generously gives.
Let him leave because I no longer turn him on. No longer inspire and ignite his spark.
Let us binge on pizza and wine and spend the next morning jogging for an hour from five am; trying to undo the damage. Let me drag him behind on those runs.
Let us strike a compromise that he gives me a twenty minutes head start. Or better still, let’s decide that I stick to skipping rope.
Let us feed on lettuce, tomatoes and spinach tomorrow, so we don’t feel guilty when reach for that tub of ice cream later.
Let me drown in my grief when he leaves.
Let me nurse my bleeding heart for the right reasons. And grief in peace
Let the love we have for each other be so strong it tears apart when it’s over.
Let him leave me wishing I would find one who so confidently says ‘no, don’t give her this. She prefers that’ for he has known things about me that I don’t.
Let me be comfortable asking for his help on things I could never ask you.
Let me smile when you mention his name.
Let me be vain, and petty.
Let me be a volcano; like every woman in love is.
Let me forgive him when he goes astray, as you would the one you love.
So, if my knight in shining armor gets here, and I happen to have been around a little longer than he will be, I will smile, and go ahead be the princess he saves on that midsummer night.

By:
Mary Wangari
Number : +254705615995
Email : wangarijskamau@gmail.com

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DESESPERADO: NAIROBI CITY CHRONICLES [TWO]

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BMW x6

If you didn’t read part one, click here

He looked at me. I was scared to bits. On his face, he had multiple scars; an evidence of engaging in multiple gang fights. He lifted his left hand while gazing at me and formed a tight fist. By the look of it, I had underestimated his age. He was huge despite his young looking body. He gazed at me as if knowing am already scared and brought his formed-fist closer to my arm. I realized he was telling me to punch back as a form of greeting. The ‘gotta’ thing we usually did at campus. I formed a fist too and returned the favor by making our fists meet. However, even after I did that, Kevin did not smile a single bit. He waved at me, pushed open the door, and walked away in front of my car. I watched him in shock as he walked with quick short steps towards the corners of the buildings and disappeared along the Aga Khan Walk path just at KenCom Building.

I breathed out the air I had saved before he lifted his arm. My left hand was already on my chest as I sat in awe and wonder. I told myself I had to be extremely careful the next time such stuff happens. However, I was glad because I did something positive. Nevertheless, I felt bad because of the kind of work this young man who got full of life engaged in. I started wishing I had educated him or else assisted him get other ways to earn clean cash. I held my heart again. It had stopped beating as it previously was. I started imagining that I had sat inside the same car with a murderer and I could not believe it myself.

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DESESPERADO: NAIROBI CITI CHRONICLES

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Nairobi City Skyline

It was on a Saturday morning. It was  one of my unusual days in town since I didn’t have an aim visiting the place. I just wanted to rotate around the place, get to know the city and manoeuvre through the city tunnels, lifts, etc to see new places and to meet  new individuals maybe to lit up my world. Not that I was a desperate woman but I hadn’t found my solace yet.I believed that some day, I would bump into someone great. It was such a strong belief such that I got at loggerheads with my friends because of it. I just needed positive thoughts about it especially at the age I was at.

Kelly Wambui Is my name. My few friends call me Kelly. I completed my undergraduate at 24 with a Bachelor Of Medicine N Surgery at Moi University and went ahead and mastered in Pediatrics. I haven’t done my PhD but am still planning to venture into it soon. My current age is 35. I am a doctor during the day at some hospital in Thika. During the night, I am a single woman who does her stuff inside my rented compound at Nairobi’s South B Estate.

This specific Saturday, I wanted to manoeuvre through town maybe I could get a new opportunity. I mean, I needed a man. Back in campus, I was the reserved type. I was an introvert. I didn’t want anything to do with “boys”. I called them. I just knew them to be fuck boys or hit and runs. That’s why I remained chaste for my 6 years at Campus. However, I still regret why I didn’t get someone there. When I came to do my masters, almost all the women we studied with were married and the men too. They all had families.  I was the only single humanbeing there. I still didn’t feel complete. What I craved at the moment, was a family. People I would get back to at home and spend the night with; Buy shopping for my family and have a sense of belonging. That’s what I longed for.

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​OBSESSION: I FELL IN LOVE WITH MY DOCTOR 3

PREVIOUS EPISODES >> | PART ONE | PART TWO |

                                 DHgatc.com

Robert, Sharon and Erick 

Robert – an Administration Police (now in memorial Hospital)

Sharon – A Lady Caught Between Two Lovers

Erick – A Mental Health and Psychiatry Doctor
She started walking on the corridor towards Dr. Erick’s office as she peeped on the patient’s rooms through the observation window. Just before she approached Dr. Erick’s office, she saw someone who seemed familiar inside one of the cubicles. She moved closer towards the window.

 
[1100hrs: TOWN MEMORIAL HOSPITAL]

She got closer and closer raising her eyebrows as she pushed her floral long black hair behind her head. Before she could reach the observation window to get a facial clarity of the person before her, the last patient who was at the doctor’s room got outside closing the door behind her. She quickly, hunched her purse on her shoulders, straightened her clothes and quickly ran her body a survey using her eyes then started walking towards the doctor’s room. Just before she got inside the room, she ran her lips through a thorough cleaning using her exploring tongue. The inscriptions on the blue hospital door read:  DR. ERICK – MD, M.MED, and PHD (PSYCHIATRY). At last, she got inside the room and locked the door behind her. 
He was busy at the behind desk scenes looking at some of the files. He at once raised his head and pushed his reclining executive seat towards his desk. He looked at her. 
‘Aha, you again.’ He said. 
‘Yeah, you dropped your keys at the car park.’ Sharon said as she lifted his keys at her shoulder length smiling. 
‘Ooh, thank you very much Sharon.’ he said, as he seemed very grateful shocked by the fact that he could actually lose his keys.
Sharon lifted her bum from the black rotating seat and walked towards the doctor’s space. She extended her arm and handed over the keys to him. She looked at him for some time as if admiring him and later turned her back on him. She opened the door and before she could get outside, Erick halted her. 

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ABYSS: The One Night Stand That Ruined Me

Arrgh! The Only One Night Stand

We had just been meeting and those unexpected exceptional one night stands would always happen. That moment when our eyes met and I felt some heaviness inside my undergarments, I knew that it had to happen. I was not the dominating one in this since she also wanted to have some fun too. In biology, I remember we called it a symbiotic relationship. It has never been serious. We loved fun. Is that what everyone feels good about? Yeah that is it. I have to admit that the one-night-stands were soo great that i only longed for the next time i shall meet this electric beauty. I bet you understand the meaning of the term ‘electric’ as used in this context. Her name was Sally. She was the dazzling dark beauties of all time. In my village back at home, she was the only girl who at least managed to own some flesh in her gluteal tissue. To add on to that, she was the infiltrative type of lady. Meaning, she was choosy and selective to certain men. I knew she had fun with many people but I still could not get enough of her time. She had a cartel of men who I guess operated on her on my absence. She would get admitted and discharged after been worked on for hours or days. Sometimes I thought she did it for cash and that is why every time I came back to my village from college, I used to have a packet of approximately a 100 barrier contraceptives. I had that feeling deep in me about what I was getting into.

Therefore, it happened that this day, I managed to get home from school on a Friday. I was extremely tired and weary. The time was 3:30pm. The sun was still shining bitterly on my clean-shaven head. There was a bit of a shaky drizzle that was trying to drive away the sunny weather. I approached my village that was situated in somewhere deep in Ukambani. A lot of grass-thatched and mud-walled houses were the spectacular things in this region. You can imagine the tourists would come to take pictures of our houses and pay us. That shows how deep poverty had stricken our village. The only privileged man in the area was called Mr. Muthama who owned a wooden house and a bicycle.He made a lot of cash when ferrying residents to and from town and that is where he got his cash.

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Middling Yard

from middangeard ("middle earth"): a blog of speculative poetry

Natalie Ducey

Writer/Author

Province of the Fallen Words

Spilling emotion through words

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