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TARNISHIN” THE FEMININE GARMENT

 A WOMAN IS THE FACE OF THE COMMUNITY. SHE IS THE ONE WHO STANDS AND UPHOLDS A COMMUNITY

A WOMAN IS THE FACE OF THE COMMUNITY. SHE IS THE ONE WHO STANDS AND UPHOLDS A COMMUNITY

Back in the days, women were respected, upheld and viewed as the face of community; nowadays things seem to be completely changing. In those old days, women had special roles at different stages of life. In marriage especially, the woman was supposed to be loyal same to the man. Her job included common household duties e.g. cooking, fetching firewood, thatching houses among sharpening the female child’s feminine abilities. The men were to look for food, offer security to family, go hunting and teach the young boys the art of being a ‘man’. Loyalty in marriage was prominent and was regarded as a taboo for a woman to be caught cheating on her husband. When the husband died, the brother to the husband was to take over and assume the roles of his late brother.

THEY WERE CREATED BY GOD BY GREAT ARTISTIC ATTRIBUTES.

THEY WERE CREATED BY GOD BY GREAT ARTISTIC ATTRIBUTES.

In the 21st century, most of them are very different. They have changed. With the achievement made towards the advancement of women throughout history and around Africa, women have really changed. Some have changed to the best while some have changed to the worst.

Marriage, also called matrimony or wedlock. It is a socially or ritually recognised union between spouses that establishes rights and obligations between them. A marriage bond lasts forever unless it was founded a contract which is very rare in Kenya.

We have observed a number of ‘bad situations’ facing the girl child especially towards marriage. This includes the following:

The female child has been exposed to early marriages. Those exposed to these are below 17 years of age. We have discovered two types of early marriages, there is forced marriage and intentional marriage.

DELICATE AND PASSIONATE THEY ARE.

DELICATE AND PASSIONATE THEY ARE.

Forced marriage is when the family decides to wed their underage girl forcefully while the Intentional marriage is where the girl feels it is good to have an early marriage. The main reason why women switch to early marriages in Kenya is lack of education. A woman finishes primary school and leaves school to work at home. Her physique and embodiment become too big as compared to her age. She looks 35 but she is 17. She fears losing her young body and fears that men would not bother for old mamas. That, prompts her to marry.


Secondly, women in Kenya who are thriving in early marriages prompt those who are not yet ‘in’, to have a chance at it. Some women ask themselves this question: ‘if people are thriving in early marriages, what’s the need to keep on waiting for years?’ they go ahead and get married only to realise they were not on the silver spoon. Problems start hitting them, as the young man is not that educated and getting livelihood is always a hard struggle. When problems are too much, divorce becomes a simple did. The woman walks away and starts hanging out with other men that can support her needs.

THEY GO AHEAD AND TEST THE WATERS OF MARRIAGE AS YOUNG AS 17YRS

THEY GO AHEAD AND TEST THE WATERS OF MARRIAGE AS YOUNG AS 17YRS

Why did you marry me if you can’t support my needs?’ most men get that question. Some actually have really struggled to make ends meet for the family but to bear no fruit. They get back home tired and all they get is questions. There is rent to pay, food to feed the children and many other needs that are unattended for. Its time women realise that their work is not just seat and wait for the man to keep everything on the table. They have to earn also. Marriage is not a one sided coin that the man is the sole provider. Problems do happen and symbiosis association is needed.

Some go ahead and work as prostitutes to earn money other than thinking of other better money generative ideas. This is something that is on the rise in semi-urban and rural Kenya. As young bloggers, we have noted it and decided to air it to the world because I do not know where we are heading. I know it is hard to survive with a poor man or a man who has just gotten a disability, but there is something called sharing and being there for one another. That is what thriving families have done all through.

 

WOMEN SHOULD BE RESPECTED, UPHELD AND SUPPORTED IN ALL MEANS THAT CAN MAKE THEM RETAIN THEIR FEMINISM

WOMEN SHOULD BE RESPECTED, UPHELD AND SUPPORTED IN ALL MEANS THAT CAN MAKE THEM RETAIN THEIR FEMINISM

Another thing that we have noted and it is on the increase is the unfaithfulness in women especially in absence of the husbands. Most men get jobs far away from home and they only manage to get home at the weekends. When they struggle and get money, they send money to their wives via money transfer services. The women left at the countryside start having sexual associations with other fellow men at the village especially when the husband fails to come a single weekend. Many say men are the liars number one, but we should also take into account what women do that contribute to breakups. They also dig a major part of it. This has been common especially when the man is away from home by long distance. Some women take that chance and misuse it to entertain other men of the village not wondering of how the husband is struggling to make ends meet for the family.

 

GREAT MARRIAGE REMAINS PEACEFUL  WHEN THE WOMAN REMAINS CHASTE WAITING FOR HIS MAN TO GET BACK HOME

GREAT MARRIAGE REMAINS PEACEFUL WHEN THE WOMAN REMAINS CHASTE WAITING FOR HIS MAN TO GET BACK HOME

To sum up, contributing factors of breaking marriages are due to women themselves. Some women maintain great status and are a good example for other women to emulate; but some are just tarnishing the image. We all know that women are the face of the community. We do not want that slogan to be tarnished in the mud. Let us all work in maintaining the good status of women.

 

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About Melting Ice Towers

We Are Medical Students at The University Of Nairobi. We Have Been Endowed With Writing Talents That We Confabulate During Our Free time. This Is Our Writing Platform. Enjoy Yourself Dear Readers.We Love Our Dear Readers. You Inspire Us. We will always keep you updated with interesting articles. By Ken And Speranza

Posted on May 25, 2015, in GENDER SUPERIORITY and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 7 Comments.

  1. I really appreciate your article which shows very well the negative sides of the modern woman. Thank you very much.😄

    Like

    • Welcome Martina Ramsauer. Thanks for reading the article. It has come to our attention and its something that can’t be hidden anymore. Let’s come out and speak the real truth of the young truth that has become a menace in today’s generation

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Heather Awen

    What about the men who visit prostitutes ? The married men . Are the man who live far away working monogamous with their wife? What are the laws there about husbands raping their wives or beating them? If a woman is beaten by her husband, what are her options? How do the family members respond? Does she have to stay? What if he is an alcoholic and spends all of their money on alcohol or drugs? What if she had no say in getting married at age 17 ? Is she still responsible for all of the marriage vows even though she was not an age to understand what she’s getting into? Are the women taking care of the home, children and the ethics of the household and in exchange are the men protecting and providing for the family? If the women are supposed to work as well who is going to raise the children? Will men do half of the childcare? Do men seem excited about that prospect? Will women have access to the money they make , or will it be the husband? Will women make the same amount of money as a man for the same job ? Instead of blaming one gender over another well the community look at the hundreds of years of oppression and traumatizing , the corporate colonialism that controls the income and the other ways in which everyone is wounded and does not have equality and justice, male or female? What about how unequal it is for the global South , how does that impact marriages, children? What are the gender roles when traditional society is gone because the global North has ransacked Africa and the help sent is often poisonous things that are illegal in the United States like DDT for farming as opposed to support for the indigenous ways of farming that people in Kenya have always had wisdom and knowledge about? Is this about women or is this about the effects of colonization and then multinational corporations exploiting everyone ? Is this about the fact that Africa hasn’t had control of Africa on its own terms truly led by Africans in hundreds of years? And it’s time for everyone to stop deciding what Africa needs and let each culture there organically flourish under their own knowledge of their own needs and how to meet them ( which they were doing just fine until colonialism ripped tribes apart ) and financially support a new Africa on its own terms without any debt ( Africa has made the global North very wealthy , the global north Africa financial debt ) . Isn’t it hard for men and women and children to live by their own ethics when they have very little power and children to feed? What jobs besides prostitution are available for someone who was pushed into marriage at age 17 and her husband is an alcoholic, unable to work, very ill, or has abandoned her with children? What programs are there for women ? What are the religious groups doing to help both men and women get through the hardships of being separated for so long? Of poverty? Instead of blaming individuals are people looking at the systemic institutionalized barriers both local and international that are creating these problems that hurt both the men and women?

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