That the math between us was presenting problems
What crap! And you have the nerve to point it out!??
What difference does it make? I bet whatever I have is more real than what you think you do.
Why not let me fall, and regret my own mistakes?
Why not let him leave when he tires of fixing my self-esteem and failing at it?
Why not let me call it quits when I spend hours on end checking his nonexistent replies to my short texts?
Why not let us know each other’s depths like none ever has?
Why not let us kill each other when we start cheating and lying?
Why not let us bicker and argue till we wake up the neighbors?
Why not let me break glasses and walk away only to come back after my wrath subsides? Like a normal girl.
Why let it end before it begins?
Why not let us delve in the magical world of being in love?
Why not let us experiment? For we found that which was so out of reach
Why curtail our open mindedness?
Why not let us lose all our photos only to overcompensate by making even better memories?
Why not let us stand in the rain dancing and professing love? Because the least you could do is hold an umbrella over our heads.
Let us live. Let us break our legs skating and almost drown in the pool.
Let us stay broke for a month because we went to the coast over the holidays.
Let us live like there is no tomorrow.
Let us come out at night like a normal couple.
Let us be.
Normal, boring, and cliché
Let us play normal
And act like our opinions matter to each other.
Let us be a normal couple who decided not to hide their feelings behind phrases like ‘We are not the relationship type’.
Let us have one of those awkward moments at three am. Those that we sit on the bed in our ‘studio apartment’ staring at shadows or that dim light emanating from the radio at the corner, the silence between us almost tangible
Let me lean on his shoulder as we do that.
Let him walk away for genuine reasons. Why the double standards?
Let me walk away when he tires of the kisses on my forehead that he so generously gives.
Let him leave because I no longer turn him on. No longer inspire and ignite his spark.
Let us binge on pizza and wine and spend the next morning jogging for an hour from five am; trying to undo the damage. Let me drag him behind on those runs.
Let us strike a compromise that he gives me a twenty minutes head start. Or better still, let’s decide that I stick to skipping rope.
Let us feed on lettuce, tomatoes and spinach tomorrow, so we don’t feel guilty when reach for that tub of ice cream later.
Let me drown in my grief when he leaves.
Let me nurse my bleeding heart for the right reasons. And grief in peace
Let the love we have for each other be so strong it tears apart when it’s over.
Let him leave me wishing I would find one who so confidently says ‘no, don’t give her this. She prefers that’ for he has known things about me that I don’t.
Let me be comfortable asking for his help on things I could never ask you.
Let me smile when you mention his name.
Let me be vain, and petty.
Let me be a volcano; like every woman in love is.
Let me forgive him when he goes astray, as you would the one you love.
So, if my knight in shining armor gets here, and I happen to have been around a little longer than he will be, I will smile, and go ahead be the princess he saves on that midsummer night.
Number : +254705615995
Email : firstname.lastname@example.org
If you didn’t read part one, click here
He looked at me. I was scared to bits. On his face, he had multiple scars; an evidence of engaging in multiple gang fights. He lifted his left hand while gazing at me and formed a tight fist. By the look of it, I had underestimated his age. He was huge despite his young looking body. He gazed at me as if knowing am already scared and brought his formed-fist closer to my arm. I realized he was telling me to punch back as a form of greeting. The ‘gotta’ thing we usually did at campus. I formed a fist too and returned the favor by making our fists meet. However, even after I did that, Kevin did not smile a single bit. He waved at me, pushed open the door, and walked away in front of my car. I watched him in shock as he walked with quick short steps towards the corners of the buildings and disappeared along the Aga Khan Walk path just at KenCom Building.
I breathed out the air I had saved before he lifted his arm. My left hand was already on my chest as I sat in awe and wonder. I told myself I had to be extremely careful the next time such stuff happens. However, I was glad because I did something positive. Nevertheless, I felt bad because of the kind of work this young man who got full of life engaged in. I started wishing I had educated him or else assisted him get other ways to earn clean cash. I held my heart again. It had stopped beating as it previously was. I started imagining that I had sat inside the same car with a murderer and I could not believe it myself.
It was on a Saturday morning. It was one of my unusual days in town since I didn’t have an aim visiting the place. I just wanted to rotate around the place, get to know the city and manoeuvre through the city tunnels, lifts, etc to see new places and to meet new individuals maybe to lit up my world. Not that I was a desperate woman but I hadn’t found my solace yet.I believed that some day, I would bump into someone great. It was such a strong belief such that I got at loggerheads with my friends because of it. I just needed positive thoughts about it especially at the age I was at.
Kelly Wambui Is my name. My few friends call me Kelly. I completed my undergraduate at 24 with a Bachelor Of Medicine N Surgery at Moi University and went ahead and mastered in Pediatrics. I haven’t done my PhD but am still planning to venture into it soon. My current age is 35. I am a doctor during the day at some hospital in Thika. During the night, I am a single woman who does her stuff inside my rented compound at Nairobi’s South B Estate.
This specific Saturday, I wanted to manoeuvre through town maybe I could get a new opportunity. I mean, I needed a man. Back in campus, I was the reserved type. I was an introvert. I didn’t want anything to do with “boys”. I called them. I just knew them to be fuck boys or hit and runs. That’s why I remained chaste for my 6 years at Campus. However, I still regret why I didn’t get someone there. When I came to do my masters, almost all the women we studied with were married and the men too. They all had families. I was the only single humanbeing there. I still didn’t feel complete. What I craved at the moment, was a family. People I would get back to at home and spend the night with; Buy shopping for my family and have a sense of belonging. That’s what I longed for.
Robert, Sharon and Erick
Robert – an Administration Police (now in memorial Hospital)
Sharon – A Lady Caught Between Two Lovers
Erick – A Mental Health and Psychiatry Doctor
She started walking on the corridor towards Dr. Erick’s office as she peeped on the patient’s rooms through the observation window. Just before she approached Dr. Erick’s office, she saw someone who seemed familiar inside one of the cubicles. She moved closer towards the window.
[1100hrs: TOWN MEMORIAL HOSPITAL]
She got closer and closer raising her eyebrows as she pushed her floral long black hair behind her head. Before she could reach the observation window to get a facial clarity of the person before her, the last patient who was at the doctor’s room got outside closing the door behind her. She quickly, hunched her purse on her shoulders, straightened her clothes and quickly ran her body a survey using her eyes then started walking towards the doctor’s room. Just before she got inside the room, she ran her lips through a thorough cleaning using her exploring tongue. The inscriptions on the blue hospital door read: DR. ERICK – MD, M.MED, and PHD (PSYCHIATRY). At last, she got inside the room and locked the door behind her.
He was busy at the behind desk scenes looking at some of the files. He at once raised his head and pushed his reclining executive seat towards his desk. He looked at her.
‘Aha, you again.’ He said.
‘Yeah, you dropped your keys at the car park.’ Sharon said as she lifted his keys at her shoulder length smiling.
‘Ooh, thank you very much Sharon.’ he said, as he seemed very grateful shocked by the fact that he could actually lose his keys.
Sharon lifted her bum from the black rotating seat and walked towards the doctor’s space. She extended her arm and handed over the keys to him. She looked at him for some time as if admiring him and later turned her back on him. She opened the door and before she could get outside, Erick halted her.
Arrgh! The Only One Night Stand
We had just been meeting and those unexpected exceptional one night stands would always happen. That moment when our eyes met and I felt some heaviness inside my undergarments, I knew that it had to happen. I was not the dominating one in this since she also wanted to have some fun too. In biology, I remember we called it a symbiotic relationship. It has never been serious. We loved fun. Is that what everyone feels good about? Yeah that is it. I have to admit that the one-night-stands were soo great that i only longed for the next time i shall meet this electric beauty. I bet you understand the meaning of the term ‘electric’ as used in this context. Her name was Sally. She was the dazzling dark beauties of all time. In my village back at home, she was the only girl who at least managed to own some flesh in her gluteal tissue. To add on to that, she was the infiltrative type of lady. Meaning, she was choosy and selective to certain men. I knew she had fun with many people but I still could not get enough of her time. She had a cartel of men who I guess operated on her on my absence. She would get admitted and discharged after been worked on for hours or days. Sometimes I thought she did it for cash and that is why every time I came back to my village from college, I used to have a packet of approximately a 100 barrier contraceptives. I had that feeling deep in me about what I was getting into.
Therefore, it happened that this day, I managed to get home from school on a Friday. I was extremely tired and weary. The time was 3:30pm. The sun was still shining bitterly on my clean-shaven head. There was a bit of a shaky drizzle that was trying to drive away the sunny weather. I approached my village that was situated in somewhere deep in Ukambani. A lot of grass-thatched and mud-walled houses were the spectacular things in this region. You can imagine the tourists would come to take pictures of our houses and pay us. That shows how deep poverty had stricken our village. The only privileged man in the area was called Mr. Muthama who owned a wooden house and a bicycle.He made a lot of cash when ferrying residents to and from town and that is where he got his cash.
HIGHRISE, KIBERA ROAD.
This happened last week on Friday Night. It was a long night as I can remember. As usual, people who have just come to college must enjoy as they say. Yeah, we must enjoy. I was in that category of people. I really enjoyed night raves and booze. A little bhang (ndom) too and not forgetting ‘muguka’ (jaba) complemented with ‘njugu – karanga’. The last stimulant was my appetizer before now the actual drinks. This was my schedule during the weekends. My after-Friday schedule was very tight due to the hunger I had to at-least taste these things. “tulikuwa tunachana hadi zinashika. Najifeel niko hukoooooo” cloud 9. I knew it’s gonna lit up every Friday evening.
Let me tell you a brief history about me. I am a tall dark student. My name is Ojaamong. I live in Caanan Estate – A newly established gated estate along the Highrise – Kibera route. My friends normally call me “The Bull”. The bull because I am the know-everything type of person. I guide them home too when we are all drunk and also protect them from bandits. Nobody would like to go to the club without consulting Bull. Sometimes, I get free drinks just to take the other students out so they can feel safe under my cover. To touch a little bit of my education level, I am a 2nd Year Business Administration student at a university Around the place I live. I am a sharp Student though this drugs are kinda taking me to a cloud that makes me deviate from my normal reasoning. At the moment, I feel they are taking away my intelligence gradually.
Let’s keep off the block stories. The story today was about that Friday. Last week’s pre-weekend partying. It happened in a way that wasn’t expected. Friday 19th was the date. In my business class, normally on Friday’s, the turn up is low for Students. They take it as a holiday. But the few present, dress like they have come to stay for a few moments and later walk out to the clubs. Men have their clad well put while the women are dressed to impress and arouse the “creativity” of a “holy man”. Let’s not get into the details. Since it’s Friday, new partnerships are usually formed. If last week you had some lady, you get to choose another. It’s a day where men get ditched for other men and ladies get Dumped for some better curves, looks and tastes.
Yeah, that was a Friday. You get to feel good when you bumped on a good partner. Are these the so called “prayer partners”? I don’t know.
So this Friday. We ganged up. This time round, we didn’t want to include the ladies. It was to happen in my newly acquired Bedsitter at Caanan Estate. The house was big to accommodate like a dozen booze gamblers. I got my two friends Kamau and Kipyegon. When it came to “kuchana” and booze, there was no crossing on tribal lines. It was something that was soo cordial. We were brothers in this thing. Since class was over, we hurriedly rushed through past the gates and got on the Highrise – kibera route. We actually didn’t want the ladies to start booking us for the weekend. We walked for the short distance. We arrived at Caanan Estate in about some minutes. I hurriedly walked ahead of my two ninjas as I directed them to my room. It was in the 1st floor of the 5-storey rentals. I opened the door and allowed them to get inside. I locked the door with my keys and left the key inside the lock. I had two sofa sets on which they plastered themselves knowing Bull had something great to offer.
The room was dark with red lighting. I didn’t want to open the windows. I opened my bag and placed it on the small glass table at the centre of the two guys. I took a blue plastic chair and sat as a third party. My bag was at the centre. I removed the countable rolls of bhang, three “mzingas” and a lot of “muguka” which was covered in seven khaki bags. Today was our day. My friends shouted in overwhelmed joy as we debated on what to start with.
“This is more sweeter than Joyline ” Kipyegon said as he referred to a certain classmate whilst channeling the muguka deep inside his jaws.
We all bursts into laughter as we joined in the picking of the preferred fun.
“Bull, kwani wapi Glasses?”
“Pia. Weka ngoma msee…”
I slowly got up and removed three wine glasses and placed them On the glass table. I crawled on my knees towards the sound system and plugged it on. I put my favorite Genre of music which was reggae and roots mixes. As the first song hit the air, I could feel the cold drink going through my warm intestines. I slowly increased the bass +3 and reduced the treble – 3. I gradually put on the volume to a staggering VOL 19. Only our heads could move as we sat on the chairs grounded as if our butts had being super-glued to our seats.
Kamau would take some bit of the dried leaves and use a paper from his accounts book to make a cigarette-like bar of which he would smoke in real gusto. The spacious Bedsitter was now a smoking zone. The air around was reeking of freshly smoked “ndom”. This is what we enjoyed most. The feeling of being “high” had already taken over in 45 minutes. I could feel myself as if I was floating in the air. The feeling of greatness and grandiosity had started to express itself. I began shouting at the top of my voice as I jumped holding the full length bottle of “mzinga”. The beat was soo strong and the type of music that I loved was full in my ears. I could feel it in my nerves as it made me breakdance better than my fellow classmates. Kipyegon knew the best dances of their tribe. The dances in which you kinda dance with one leg as you rotate the other. It was crazy. “Muratina” dance by Kamau was the most astonishing type of dance. It lacks a description in the English Oxford dictionary.
new highrise estate [CAANAN ESTATE]
The time was rushing. It was now 9pm at night. Kipyegon and Kamau were “stoned” to the occiput by the “makali” substances. They just lay there as I continued chewing the muguka nonstop. I mean, it had become a hobby. My teeth were all green. Kipyegon’s too. I could feel bits of leaves stuck in my teeth and using my rough tongue, I would remove and swallow them with some “mzinga”
After about an hour. We decided to get out and take a stroll in the noisy KIBERA area. It was just a day to the party nomination exercise. So the campaigns were still ongoing. We walked out of the house and I locked the door from the outside. We wanted to visit the club and at least fish some stray ladies as we walked. We slowly got out of the gate as we walked in high spirits. By any chance that one would come across our way, we would beat them Up mercilessly. That’s the extent to which we had been stoned at the moment. We walked as we scared away pedestrians who walked home at that time. I was the one leading the way as they followed me in unison. Kamau was still holding a cigarette in his fingers. We arrived at a certain club inside the slum. It wasn’t that well up like normal pubs. In this place, we were assured of getting cheap drinks and some club women. We sat at a certain round table Together as we ordered extra drinks on our table. We hadn’t got enough of what we had at my room. The beat inside the house was rhyming well with the dances inside the club. To people who used bhang like me, such music was my kind of thing. We all got up and started taking it to the floor as we danced ourselves to the beat.
Just then, there was a loud bang. Due to the effect, Of the sound, I was a bit “unstonned” . I shook. People inside the club had started running away from the club. It was something to do with the party nominations. I could hear the names of some aspirants. Kipyegon stepped on top of the tables and jumped outside. I couldn’t wait too. I followed suit. Kamau followed me as we traced Kipyegon. I guess due to his tribal background, we couldn’t even see his feet, he had already disappeared in the dark. Kamau was soo drunk to the occiput such that he couldn’t even be able to run. He fell and landed inside a ditch. I stopped back and tried to pull him out but couldn’t. He was too heavy. I left him and ran for safety. The police were on my back. They had visualized me. I guess they had confused me with the guy who was causing the chaos in the area. They planned their game and soon caught up with me. I was beaten and several injured by their clubs. Within minutes, I was mauled inside their trucks. Surprisingly, we were many inside the carriage. Some of the people Inside were fellow classmates while others were residents of Highrise area. However, there was no sight of Kipyegon nor Kamau. I was the only one who had been tracked.
In no time, we landed inside a police station. We were ejected roughly under strict supervision towards the inner cells inside the police station. I specifically was locked up inside a cell with older men. My clothes attracted their nostrils as they asked me where I have been getting bhang. They had already recognized it in my clothes. I couldn’t answer any of them. I couldn’t even sit on the floor, the place was dirty and watery. At the corner was a bucket. It was full of urine and definitely faeces at the bottom. Suddenly, one of the quiet guys in the corner called the cell officer and informed them that the bucket to urinate was full. In a rude shock, he was told to defecate on the bucket or on the floor. Since he was pressed, he urinated on the full bucket as urine flooded inside the cell. Some bits of faeces too (coats of beans and maize) were being carried away by the moving urine towards the entire corners of the cell. I stood on one shoe since one of my shoes had got lost during the chase.
I was confused. The alcohol level had subsidized in my occiput. I was reasoning again. Why was I caught?
I didn’t understand why I was inside a police cell. I realized it was on Saturday already because the 5am birds had already started humming. The alcohol had already been metabolized and I was standing on a full bladder. I too had to urinate on the walls of the cell. I couldn’t hesitate. I turned to my side of the wall and opened my urethral sphincters. We were about 15 people in a 2 by 2 cell. You can imagine the stench.
The sun was already stretching out its rays. Around 7.30am, a certain soldier came to the cell I was in and opened the door. He removed me forcefully and told me to get to the desk. There, I found my friends Kipyegon and Kamau, they had come to bail me out.
Truly, I had met a new home. That was the government cell. I promised myself to behave again and be a better person. I knew that I was deteriorating in memory slowly. I knew this drugs weren’t good but I kept taking them. I vowed to stop drugs and to move forward. I also want to make new friends and open a new chapter of Life.